Wednesday, March 31, 2010

My reason for this blog

I've had a somewhat normal life...actually I've had a pretty fucked up family but no one who knows me would have any idea. I hide it well, mostly by not thinking or talking about it, but also with a lot of booze and drugs.

People like being around me and I don't have a hard time making friends but my life is suddenly different. I'm 32 years old now and am newly single, after being in a relationship with a great girl for the last 5 years. We're still friends but I'm at a place in my life which is alien to me. I'm alone. Most of my good friends no longer live close to me. I have tons of acquaintances, or people to go out and have a beer or ten with, but no one who I truly consider a great friend. My boozed up personality and my sober personality used to be the same but over the years my sober self has become not as fun. Alcohol is my crutch.

I've always been a bit of a loner but this takes things to an entirely new level. I started to become depressed but have come to conclusion that I need to use this time in my life to figure things out. I'm 32 and have a fairly good job. It pays well and I work with good people for the most part. But I know it's not what I want to do with my life. Never did I think I would still be talking about "what I want to be when I grow up" at this age.

So I'm going to use this blog to explore things...about life, about love, about partying, about work, about responsibilities, about everything. I hope some of you can help me and maybe I can help you. Let's figure this shit out.