Boot Camp!

Today was Day 1 of boot camp at the gym. Starts at 7AM and it's basically an hour of constant calisthenics/aerobics/running/pushups/crunches etc. Kicked my ass. Not feeling horrible yet except my legs are a little rubbery but I can tell I'm going to be in pain tomorrow. Also on Week 2 of both the 100 Pushups app and 200 Situps app on my iPhone. Pretty good little motivator/reminder if you haven't heard of it.

Anyway, on Friday when I last weighed myself I was up to 204 pounds. I'm going to track my weight on this blog for anyone to read, in the hopes that it'll keep me going.

Family Gay Time

The sister came into town and we had a fun night of bar hopping. While eating BLTs fairly late night, the table next to us started up a conversation. My sis was into one of these guys. And I'm not gay but I would say he was hot. He ends up going to the next place with us. Long story short...he was way more into me than her. Now I've never really been hit on by a gay guy before but it was kind of flattering. He asked for my number and I gave it to him, but I also told him to hook me up with some of his girlfriends. But who knows, new start right?

Also, yay, I have 3 followers. If I had known that, I would have updated this more often last week.

Changes...

I lie awake in bed each night
the silence has turned into sounds of trash trucks and dumpsters
the soft buzz of central air
has turned into sirens and screaming in the street
the cozy pillow top
has turned into a ratty futon cushion on the hard floor
the warmth of someone next to me
has turned into nothingness
the good morning sunshine
has turned into a blazing sun in my eyes
the only thing that stays the same is
my insomnia.

Eating better...

I'm going to try to start eating better. My ex loved to cook and was pretty good at it, and I've found myself eating out a lot now that I'm on my own. Now I know the whole Julie and Julia thing is played out, but I picked a cookbook at random and came up with "The Frugal Gourmet Cooks Three Ancient Cuisines: China, Greece and Rome". I remember this guy from TV growing up and I love all three of these types of food so hopefully some good stuff will come out of this. I don't have nearly any of the ingredients yet so it'll take me a few days to start but I'll keep track of my progress here and let you know how it goes.

My reason for this blog

I've had a somewhat normal life...actually I've had a pretty fucked up family but no one who knows me would have any idea. I hide it well, mostly by not thinking or talking about it, but also with a lot of booze and drugs.

People like being around me and I don't have a hard time making friends but my life is suddenly different. I'm 32 years old now and am newly single, after being in a relationship with a great girl for the last 5 years. We're still friends but I'm at a place in my life which is alien to me. I'm alone. Most of my good friends no longer live close to me. I have tons of acquaintances, or people to go out and have a beer or ten with, but no one who I truly consider a great friend. My boozed up personality and my sober personality used to be the same but over the years my sober self has become not as fun. Alcohol is my crutch.

I've always been a bit of a loner but this takes things to an entirely new level. I started to become depressed but have come to conclusion that I need to use this time in my life to figure things out. I'm 32 and have a fairly good job. It pays well and I work with good people for the most part. But I know it's not what I want to do with my life. Never did I think I would still be talking about "what I want to be when I grow up" at this age.

So I'm going to use this blog to explore things...about life, about love, about partying, about work, about responsibilities, about everything. I hope some of you can help me and maybe I can help you. Let's figure this shit out.